|
TEN MANAGEMENT LESSONS .......
Parable Number One:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
|
|
Parable Number Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
|
|
Parable Number Three:
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
|
|
Parable Number Four:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the f rozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
|
|
Parable Number Five:
Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is
sitting
outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.
Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat
foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few
minutes,
gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his
typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops
to
watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: " What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: " you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: " No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit
returnsby himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the
lion.
Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT
MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.
In the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD
YOUR
PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.
___________________________________________________________
|
|
Parable Number Six:
Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is
sitting
outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a
fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your great
claws will only destroy it even more"
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with
great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to meand it will be fixed".
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes
back
with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed,
and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very
pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch
the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is
broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you?
There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a
complicated TV"
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a
perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen
small
and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very
complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other
corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS LOOK AT THE
WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
In the context of the working world: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY
SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS
SUBORDINATES.
Parable Number Seven:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey and it fell into the river and drowned.
Management Lesson:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
|
|
|
Parable Number Eight: Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the
World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World
Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a
vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents
than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's
son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!! Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything.
|
|
|
